Clear head this morning, a few meditation exercises and get back to the truth of the matter and my head is in a far better place today. I imagine that there will be more days like Saturday and Sunday but not too many I hope.
I also did some serious soul searching and just reminded myself why I'm leaving despite the twangs of guilt I'm bound to feel and no one likes to see someone they've known all of their lives miserable and suffering like Mrs. F. is at the moment it isn't a foregone conclusion that if I try and help her out it is going to do either of us any good. Yes - it is a miserable time but it will get better and much as I'd like to help Mrs. F. get over this I imagine that I'm not actually the right person deeply moved though I am to want to help - I can't and I shouldn't even try.
It feels spiteful and against all my instincts but in some ways this has been brought on herself and whilst I AM going to take half the blame the other half isn't mine - it isn't all my fault and I don't need to be beating myself up about it the way I do every now. It's the right decision.
I am back on an even keel this morning than goodness :-)
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