Interesting Thoughts

I popped up this gem onto FaceBook yesterday:

"We must let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us" - Joseph Campbell.

To which one of my friends responded with "So true, but how to do that will take another lifetime to learn."

That was interesting so I suggested a visit to Eckhart Tolle's 'A New Earth' book which I think gives you all the tools to do this.  I can see why some people will never quite understand what he says as it is so very difficult to achieve and it is so very difficult to practice it too although I do try my best.

I am having a lot of trouble with the past at the moment.  Not I hasten to add to do directly with my marital problems.  It's difficult to describe without digging a bloody great hole for myself.  It has to do with emotions and love and friendship and how an opportunity was lost a long time ago and cannot be regained or restored.  There, that's suitably vague enough I hope :-)  It has to do with an impossible position and the reality that you can't get that time back much as you may want to and you cannot recreate it either.  The mind is a peculiar beast as it knows this and logic tells me this too.  It's impractical, impossible and yet there are these fantasies floating around and I have to blow them away because they aren't helping.  Of course it's all about the uncertainty coming my way.  

It's exciting to be restarting my life and a little daunting too.  I've got to work out to fend for myself and get back to doing more of the housework and whilst I don't mind that one bit there's a slight fear about getting it right.  Stoooopid isn't it?  There's obviously some nagging worries there and not surprisingly but what my mind is doing is coming up with scenarios that cannot possibly be that not in my wildest dreams can come true.  It's as if there's a Fear Factor" bit saying "you'll never be happy again" it takes me back to when I was very happy indeed and almost taunts me with never finding that again and yet I know that not to be true.  Perhaps there's warnings about "getting hurt" in there too - whatever it is it is pretty hard to shake out and I spent last night and the last few days shaking it out of my system and removing this dream of the future that my mind is drawing as it isn't at all constructive.  It could be a defensive mechanism I suppose but it can do no good dragging up the past and trying to create a scenario that just cannot happen.  

What hurts is that it is dragging up my past and it is in my past, I know it can't hurt me, I know it happened and sad as I am that it didn't turn out differently - it didn't and that's it.  Again though I am back in some measure of control and appear to have gotten past this episode and I just need to move on once again.  That's very much the way it is at the moment.  I understand that the uncertainty is destabilising and so it appears to be dealing with multiple things is indeed leading to these silly internal disturbances.  No wonder those Jedi Masters had such a difficult time.