It's all about the day right? The 'Now' and so I try and do that. It actually works quite well. I find myself struggling with it a bit on the odd occasion like yesterday. I was considering that there would be days like this of course as the habit of a lifetime is difficult to break.
What it was yesterday was about finding love or companionship in the future and that screwed with my head a bit but then I realised that I have a terrific bunch of friends and a large group of people I know and that therein was the key and to stop worrying about it. It will be what it will be (I say that a lot I know). There's no rush and I will have some time to stop think and reflect soon when I move out of here and into the new house or flat or whatever we are getting. I'm not worried about where to live and how I'm going to live so that's OK.
Then for some reason, maybe to stop myself thinking in the future I went back to some happy times, wonderful times and reflected on those and blow me that made me feel sad. You can't win but I struggled with stopping those happy days turning into "what ifs? And Maybes!" So I watched some stupid film and had two little French beers (Low Alcohol but blizzard cold) and went to bed and just worked on clearing my mind of it. It worked, It is clear this morning and it's a bit like worrying what my neighbour is coming around to see me about this morning - why? Nothings happened and he will say what he has to say and I will see what I think about it and take it from there.
I also appear to be slowly getting it that life isn't a rush to the finish to see who gets to the end first. I realise that I'm not going to have a say in the time. place or manner of my death but I can certainly have a big say in how I live and whilst it isn't an easy road to follow it actually is when it comes together. When you suddenly realise that you don't actually need to be doing something right now, it can wait for 5 minutes, that time our having a break is OK it's not wasted time. That there is pleasure to be gained from doing menial tasks - no really - just try and do them with a good mind and attitude and to do the best job you can? Sounds funny but try enjoying doing the washing up or the ironing. It works fine for me and I "enjoy" doing these things but don't need to rush and tear through them. If I want a break then I will have one, if I reward myself with a coffee or ramping the volume up on a particular piece of music and just listening to it (rather than having it in the background) then that's great too.
Sure there will be pressure things but do you know what, they too will happen and they too can also become enjoyable. Today I need to see my neighbour, go to the Post Office, then off for 30 minutes walk to see Flocky Bicep for coffee and then home and see what the day will bring. I'm not certain if I fancy another full day in the office so perhaps I'll work on my business and operations plans - that's a good idea. There's a pile of washing that needs ironing, perhaps a film on DVD and do the ironing.
I know - I Rock! :-)
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