Monday, December 22, 2008

A disturbed night

The dreams were back with a vengeance last night. In one, I waited for hours and hours to find they'd put me in the wrong ward and missed it again. They eventually put me last on the list. In another I met the in-between man - he holds the injection to bring you back from the dead and he'd had two already that morning. Pretty obvious where my brain was in gear last night then?

Have had my tablets and showered and I am packed ready to go. There is about one hour to go now. I'm tired but otherwise relatively neutral at the moment. It seems to be the pattern that the days leading up to the event are more anxious than the day itself. I was doing my deep breathing self hypnosis stuff yesterday but probably heightened my awareness of today's events rather than settled myself down.

I have my MP3 player on me and so I'm ready to get going and get this done and out of the way. I'm also ready for Christmas having sorted all the presents out and everything is wrapped. The biggest problem this year has been the chaos of the last two weeks where I have missed sending out cards to everyone or to some people. I did a lot earlier in the month and somehow I think I lost my list and unlike me, I cannot remember who got cards, who didn't and whether I sent them an e-mail or not. It is very unlike me - I haven't sent out the Company Christmas Cards (I normally do about 100 printed and 700 or so e-cards) either. It is a sign of the disruption the cancellation caused me that a lot of these things are not done.

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