Here we go again

Let it be the last time. There could only be so many Rocky Movies so please let this be the last lot of three BCG treatments that I need.

The traditional ritual or perhaps habit now kicks in. I have had my lunch at 11:30 and my last drink before midday. My treatment is at 2 pm. If I get there a little early perhaps I will get done a little earlier too. I now need to get my drugs together, something to read and perhaps something to listen to. Additionally I will get my notepad to keep a record of things as they happen and my bleach and stuff to go into the toilet.

I've signed off from work with an auto response message and I only now need to concentrate on getting everything in place.

I remember last time it being worse than I remember and strangely the brain has a wonderful way of not remembering that.

This time I have been less "nervous" although I can feel slight apprehension at the moment it isn't anywhere near what it was prior to the first times.

Anyway, I sure hope that this lot does its stuff and that come December we can turn a page, start a new chapter and move on.

I thought about my cousin the other day who is having chemotherapy and remembered what a personal thing it is having treatment. No matter what you say to people you cannot express what it is like. You have to go through it yourself to fully understand it and words are not enough. Many people say that they don't know how I could let people do what they do to me - and I certainly was in that camp myself but when the end justifies the means you can accept just about anything. The call it life because they don't call it practice or rehearsal. Once you get that into your head and that maybe life is a little more interesting than the alternatives the choices are do it and live or don't and die :-)

Profound stuff for a Monday :-) Anyway, here we go and my Open University Foundation Course stuff has just arrived - excellent.