I reckon that I'm up for that these days if they include it in the Olympics or Commonwealth Games:
Winter Olympics: Sign your name in the snow? Extra points for crossing all "T"s and dotting all "i"s. People with long names given higher scores. People with Balkan names get extra points with all the extra dots, acutes etc.
In the main Summer games I suppose you could emulate most track and field events:
Speed - 100 metres. Make contestants drink until bursting point, line them up with just one toilet at the end of the track and set them off. False starts to be indicated by a mop?
Pole Vault - oh no - don't even go there.
Marathon, see who can take the longest to urinate continually.
The Relay, shortest time between several visits wins.
Highest, best of three using the high jump apparatus.
Longest distance, best of three attempts. Foul called if dribbling on the Plasticine.
Triple jump. Contestants filled to bursting point and the one toilet in the arena has engaged written on the lock!
Javelin. Best not to even think about that one.
Whilst many of these appear to be similar to games played on the way home from a particularly lively night down the rugby club, it would allow me to do something with my new found skills.
Strange what you think about at 3 in the morning isn't it?
