Monday, March 10, 2008

Next on the list

I'm getting through this backlog that I have built myself - Sooner or later I needed to stop mooching around and get on with things. Now is a good time to start and already I can see things moving on and getting done.

I just now need to break out of the routines I have got into and to set myself new targets and to move on a bit at a time. Too much change in one go can be disruptive and unbalancing. If I have learnt nothing else these past few years it is that these massive swings do not do any good. I am being very careful these days about everything I do mentally and physically - I am still very susceptible to the slightest triggers and I am trying to avoid those but also combat what brings them on. I think your self confidence takes such a huge bashing that you really are hyper sensitive to just about anything that anyone says or does. Things hurt me deeply these days that I never ever worried about and I find myself being very defensive when perhaps I don't need to be.

Oh well, all part of the territory of the Cancer patient I reckon. No one said it would be easy and I can tell you that the road to recovery just continues to stretch out there. Maybe you never truly recover? I'd like to think that in a few years it was just a bad period I can look back on but I'm not sure it will be.

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