Getting quite depressed again

All of a sudden it came on again, not big nasty old black dog but inward looking, fed up, can't move on, introspective me.

I really really hate this at the moment. I feel quite sick inside and just when I feel good or move a bit, something comes along and knocks me back again. I have to get on with things and yet I'd quite happily go and sit quietly somewhere and brood over something.

I know I'm like this because of the tribunal thing - I mean what did I expect to happen? They lied last year so why change the way they approach their business and no doubt personal ethics. Probably that is right at the heart of it. I feel cheated and used and taken advantage of and I really cannot forgive or forget that with all the other troubles I've had they did this to me. Better than that, they have brought that up as some form of defence. Perhaps that is also at the heart of it, it is almost like some prejudice about me having had cancer or dared to have had treatment when I was meant to be working for nothing for them.

I'm not entirely sure how to tackle this at the moment. I hope that this week will see it all go away in some form or another.

I'm certainly going to try and do something different tomorrow to move myself on with it. They get the documents tomorrow so perhaps that will set some sort of resolution in process.