It's gone lunchtime and we haven't uttered a word to each other all morning. No pleasantries, nothing at all. I will try in a few minutes to break the silence but not sure if I'll manage it. I've heard about this from other friends who are going through the same thing and I really, really want to be out and away from all of this. I'm out tomorrow which will be good. Looking forward to getting up late, hitting the shower, grabbing a good breakfast and then heading off for some drinks and a Christmas Lunch with people I know. It will be interesting as it will be the first that many people will know that I am not with Mrs. F. - it will be difficult as they will have Christmas Cards written to use both but - no problems I will bat my way through that.
I'm out Monday and Tuesday so that too will get me the hell out of here. It really is difficult at the moment. Mrs. F. appears to be spreading the misery widely and I just can't help the situation - I fear I just add fuel to the fire. So I just disengage and take a deep breath and work out whether to try and reason the thing through or just to let it go. Many times I just let it go. I can't make her tell her family and friends, even though it has been 5 months you'd have thought that a few more people would know who would help her out a bit. Not telling anyone and bottling it up can't be great. There's going to be no miracle here and her behaviour now just re-enforces my decision to go.
I just want to get out of here and to get some time to myself. I think I will spend Monday finishing off eBaying and then tidying all that away for a while. I can always do a filter through what is left and make a decision about what can be thrown and what can be kept and can sort out stuff to be dumped, can go to charity or can go to a home of my choosing.
I will then concentrate on making Christmas work as best as I can. Perhaps do a tidy of the house from top to bottom and get things as ready as they can be. Mrs. F. isn't wanting to do anything for Christmas - I think I can probably at least make the effort for the girls, their boyfriends and Mrs. F's family who are coming over for Christmas Day and Boxing Day.
Oh well - let's see how it all settles out I guess.
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