It is a much better day today and it is because weekends are a drag and difficult and very awkward indeed. It isn't hate it is just massive sadness and the house reeks of it. Luckily I'm out tonight. I was going to be out on Wednesday but that isn't going to happen now as the chap I go to the Jazz with has an Hospital appointment and so won't feel up to it.
Maybe I should arrange something else for that evening? That could be a plan - or just take myself off there on my own? I imagine that would be a bit sad though.
This weekend sees the Christmas Lunch that Mrs. F. and I hosted last year - I'll be going on my own - she thought we both might go but I didn't think it was appropriate. It is interesting that it was at that do last year I realised how big I had gotten. I was 3 1/2 stones heavier than I am now and didn't fit into my suit. I'd put most of that weight on in that year and a lot whilst going you and down to see my dad.
It will be interesting as it will be the first time that many people will realise that something has happened and that Mrs. F. and I are no longer together. I hope it will not be a bad occasion for all that.
Weekdays are much easier to deal with I find and I'm able to just focus on getting on with this de-cluttering exercise which in 2 months has raised close to £2,000 which means I can contribute to the house a bit more than I was before. In fact more than I've contributed in about 2 and a half years or is it 3 and a half years - I forget. Whatever it is, I need to remind myself that after the distraction of the business I just couldn't get going and now I know why that was and it was interesting/academic in some ways that I the longer I went without a job the more isolated I was made and then became. Mrs. F. doesn't get it at all or I don't think she does. It just became an ongoing day-by-day withdrawal of services - if that doesn't sound too crude - bit by bit my life just shut down. Terribly sad I acknowledge but there you have it.
At least things are changing now and I'm sort of free to get on although it is difficult to just sit down and concentrate on the business at the moment. I think I might do one more large push now on eBay and then have done with it after that. It is getting to be hard work now and whilst it makes a bit of cash all the high value things are, I believe, gone. It is also coming up towards Christmas and so I need to work out what I am going to do about that too. That said it is getting nearer the time where a potential move may be on the cards and I don't need too much stuff cluttering up my life and I can bring the curtain down on the de-cluttering for a while.
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