Sunday, December 03, 2006

Beginning to get back to "normal"

As I said yesterday, I am beginning to notice long periods of time where I don't think about or act as if I have the disease. I think that this is a good sign as I am coming to terms with it and I am beginning to manage it and not it managing me. A lot of people talk about having a "state of mind" about cancer. I'm sure there is something in there about that.

In this instance I think that you do get a very big shock to start with, you don't believe it for a while, you tackle it with denial (or however you tackle it), you then get to the point of acceptance. I think you get to acceptance and then you go through a stage of depressive acceptance and grow out of that. I think I have now got to that part which is I've got it, I've gone through the treatments and I'm recovering and feel almost fully recovered, I don't have anything on my near term radar like tests and operations to cope with, Christmas is coming, things like work are getting back to normal, my day to day is getting back to normal and very soon, I hope that I'll be going a day at a time without thinking too hard about what I have got.

I'm going to be making sure that I eat and drink the right things still but these are becoming habits now so that should also help me to think less about these things.

Well I am pleased about this, I was beginning to worry that all I'd ever think about was how I am, measuring everything I was doing in terms of what effect it would have on me etc.

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