That Strange Feeling

I reckon that it is one of those things you get that plays on your mind.

"If I get to survive the first one maybe there is another one lined up to get me" coupled with that is "If he wants me that bad...."
"Something else is wrong with me"
"I wonder if it is coming back again"

I can't say that it is worrying me a lot it is just one of those nagging little things at the back of your mind and one of the things you have to deal with.

The slightest twinge or ache gets you worried about what it could be. Having been relatively healthy for 30 years I've gone from being someone who rarely worried about my health to a border line hypercondriac (well not quite) but I'm aware of my body and how I feel all the time.

I don't get it so much now but earlier on in the very early days before the operation and before I knew better the little voices would be there with stuff like "You won't be there for your children when they need you", "You'll predecease your parents" and that sort of stuff. It goes with the territory and its part of the disease. You just have to learn to put the thoughts as far away as possible as that isn't the present situation - nor is it likely to be. The Brain though is a complicated thing and it can be a nuisance having a questioning mind.