Ouch I do ache a bit - knew I would as having to fit tight fitting pipes together and using plenty of brute force to seat them in a cramped room are bound to put strains on places I didn't even know I had until they ached this morning.
At least that is now done and I'm reasonably happy with the results but how on earth could the plumber have left it in that state in the first place! Naughty.
So I'm looking at what to do next. There's bound to be something else on the list - there always is. I think I will take myself off to see my mum later this week perhaps for the weekend - I have lots of stuff going on but do need to go and see her - whilst we speak frequently I haven't seen her since around April or May when she came down here.
It's funny that today I'm having a slightly off day - nothing major just getting some grief from my head that I really don't need - it's Ego and Pain Body sort of stuff that's just noise and I'm dealing with it. It's distracting more than anything and I'm having wee flashbacks and prods about stuff that happened years back and of course, this stuff is just that, in the past. It makes me smile as there's lots of what ifs happening. What if this had happened or that had occurred and so on. Well of course they didn't happen and I'm here so what purpose is it even thinking about it other than to depress, upset or confuse me?
I am certain that there will be days like this and days where the past wants to come in and haunt me. The trick is, of course, to identify what is going on and then rationalise it and deal with it. In the not too distant future I'm going to get quite a lot of this - once we are out of embargo - I'm sure. Whether it will be from people judging me, living up to the consequences of my actions or perhaps facing the future. In many ways I only have to properly deal with the middle of the three. It's my actions and the consequences that are my concern but once done - that's it, that decision (or decisions) is now in the past. If other people want to judge me then that's up to them and the future hasn't happened so no need to worry or concern myself about that.
It still makes me laugh that people worry about me. I mean what useful purpose is worrying about someone else? People worry that I'm getting depressed, that I've changed, that I'm not the person they used to know. I suppose we just have to accept this is the way people are.
"I'm worried he isn't eating enough" well get a bag of shopping and drop in and see him. That's practical and shows a different sort of concern surely? Just worrying isn't going to fix anything and will probably make the worrier ill anyway :-) Crazy but I used to do it.....
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