Thursday, January 22, 2009

Mixed Emotions

Laugh or Cry, Be happy or sad, rejoice or be sorrowful?

I really not sure what to do. I should be delighted in a way that I am cancer free, have no pre-cancerous cells at all and everything is great and looks fine and "you're doing well and it is a great step forward".

But - there were atypical cells in there. So to be absolutely sure, I'm back on maintenance - not sure exactly but I heard it as 3 BCGs every 3 months with Rigid Cystoscopies at 6 months and 12 months (deep joy!). I'll find out very soon - I expect that I'll commence in February - it might be 3 BCG followed by 9 week then another 3, 12 weeks later rigid cysto.

So I don't know how I am at the moment. I'm a little bit shocked to tell the truth - I thought that I was out of the woods, off the Roller Coaster and on for a life time of observation. As it is, I've another year added to my sentence.

I know I'll feel differently about this later - it is a bit of a downer but it really isn't - it will teach me for being optimistic though :-)

Oh well, life goes on..

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It is good news you are cancer free and no pre cancer
OK you have to have more "stuff" done but that is keeping a good eye on all of your body
Keep smiling
valbri